whenever a cute boy follows me my basic thought process is like
"oh he lives in another state damn"
"oh he’s straight DAMN IT"
i sorta bleached my fringe and i really like the colour and look but i don’t think i can get a good angle on a photo that doesn’t make me look like a blobfish
don’t judge people for their names
judge their parents for giving them those names
i’m going to my parents in like 9 days ugh i can’t be bothered
Yes folks it’s that time of the year again, I’ve hit over 750 followers and I figure it’s about time I did a giveaway. But what exactly should I give away? I deliberated for some time and decided to give the most thoughtful gift I can, myself.
As this is a giveaway to reward the potential, however unlikely, hundreds of thirst followers I have you MUST be following me if you wish to take place in the giveaway. Both current and new followers are welcome.
The rewards for first, second, third and fourth place are as follows:
You get to hang out with me/be my pen-pal, and add me on Facebook. I will EITHER buy you one slice of pizza OR draw you something. Potential friendship to be had. Super.
We will instantly be friends, and I will buy you one slice or pizza AND draw you something. If you request a smut drawing I will probably laugh and it will solidify our new-found friendship. Congratulations.
We will instantly be best friends, I will buy you an entire pizza (we will eat it together) and I will draw for you whenever you want. If you want to we can go on a dinner date but that is purely up to and is kind of dependent on what country you live in. Follow-up dates are not necessary. Brilliant.
Upon winning first place you will win any multitude of dinner dates and the potential of my undying love. I will buy you pizza, draw for you and, if it should happen to take your fancy, cook for you. (known specialties include but are not limited to fried rice, brownies, banana bread, fudge and cupcakes) If you should so wish, upon winning first place you may automatically refer to me as your boyfriend and introduce me to your family. Stupendous.
All genders welcome, but, as mentioned above you MUST be following me in order to win any prize from the giveaway. I will NOT ship myself overseas as that is human trafficking and I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.
With the big holidays looming and the imminent possibility of relatives asking about the boyfriend you don’t have, I could very well be your life-saver. Both likes and reblogs count, but try not to spam your followers too much. The giveaway will be called on the 22nd of December, Two weeks from now. Please do not murder anyone in the attempt to win over my affection.
also i just lodged a formal complaint with dick smith saying i want a cash refund on my extended warranty because i have no intention of doing business with them ever again :)
i plan to live forever so i hope i get really hot soon
when people in relationships complain about people not having crushes on them